My Roman Empire: That Time Adrien Brody Bought His Fiancée A Castle
I'm Sure You Have Questions
The Roman Empire trend’s taken over the Internet — and initially, I wasn’t sure I had one. Sure, my brains teems with various cultural obsessions, including Diana Ross fondling Lil’ Kim, Top Chef’s Marcel being forcibly shaved and Kathy Griffin’s groundbreaking unscripted show My Life on the D-List. But none of these have the je ne sais quois the trend demands or the irrepressible desire to share them with unsuspecting conversational partners. What captured my imagination so thoroughly that I couldn’t stop puzzling it over or collecting details about it? Finally, it hit me: Adrien Brody buying and renovating a castle for his then-fiancée Elsa Pataky, as documented in a 30-page Hello! spread…only for the couple to break up six months later. I’m sure you have questions. Let’s get into it.
Q: Who’s Adrien Brody?
A: Adrien Brody’s an actor originally from Woodhaven, Queens. He played Władysław Szpilman in Roman Polanski’s The Pianist, for which he became the youngest-ever Best Actor winner at the Oscars. You may remember his, uh, spontaneous embrace of presenter Halle Berry. It gave V-J Day in Times Square but not cute or nostalgic. And if you’re an SNL fan, then you’re familiar with his infamous banning for improvising a bit to introduce musical guest Sean Paul…but my theory is it’s the cringe that did him in.
Q: Okay, got it. Who’s Elsa Pataky?
A: She’s a Spanish model and actor best known stateside for playing Elena in the Fast & Furious franchise. She also plays Maria in Snakes on a Plane lol. She’s beautiful and married to Chris Hemsworth, with whom she has three children.
Q: Wait, he bought her a castle? Can you even do that? Explain.
A: In 2007, Brody purchased the Stone Barn Castle, a historical home in Central New York (Cleveland, NY, specifically). After its initial construction was completed in 1906, it functioned as a dairy farm until the Great Depression swept in and ruined basically everything. Then a 1946 fire devastated the structure, leaving little besides its imposing walls. Dr. Robert Hugel and Alison K. Jockel “rediscovered” it in 1969 and undertook the ambitious project of restoring it to its former glory. They also opened it to the public, hosting tours and special events like “a wildly popular Haunted Halloween Castle and Trick-n-Treat Village, which at its peak drew ten thousand people a year.” In 2006, the Hugels put the property up for sale and eventually Hollywood’s favorite Afghan hound snapped it up.
Q: Why’d he buy it?
A: According to him, he was feeling unmoored after filming The Brothers Bloom and yearned for a permanent crash pad: “And on that project, I realized that I have to go home and I have to follow this other dream of mine, which is to get a cool dramatic country house somewhere, lost in nature, back to New York and back to the countryside. And to work on that sense of home that I felt was missing. So I found it. I found it online, and I kept it under wraps. I didn’t even visit it, then, but I knew that was the place I was gonna get.”
Q: So did he buy it *for* Elsa specifically or…?
A: The extent to which the purchase was motivated by the relationship and the extent to which it was motivated by a larger desire for “home” can’t be determined — nor can those two variables be completely parsed out, I think. BUT. The official narrative is that Adrien bought it as Elsa’s 31st birthday gift after they reportedly became engaged in 2007. Previous exes have footed the bill for excursions to Portland (ME) and Lenox (MA), respectively, but no castle. And one adopted a cat because I wanted one and was super depressed (RIP Keaton, void wondercat). Why hasn’t anyone ever bought me a castle? My guess is Elsa’s coochie is straight fire and mine can’t compare. Look at this woman:
I get it. So in 2007, the Stone Barn Castle was acquired — and the next year, it was unveiled in a 30-page spread in UK magazine Hello!.
Q: Sorry, what?
A: So this is where things take a turn. In October 2008, the lovebirds posed for a feature in Hello! (not unlike Star or InStyle in the States) featuring their new dwelling. The photos are…really something. Hey, that castle (and the attendant renovations, which we’ll get to) didn’t pay for itself!
5 years after securing an Oscar for a Polanski film, Adrien Brody was granting a tabloid exclusive access to his home and personal life — and not even in an A-list way! Brangelina in the pages of W this was decidedly not. But hey, he was in love and ready to settle down. He’d even made references to a “family” down the line, and that costs money, too.
Q: But…they broke up?
A: Yeah :( Six months later, Elsa dumped Adrien’s award-winning ass and immediately started seeing Olivier Martinez, who you may know as Halle Berry’s ex-husband. Two months after that, she met Chris Hemsworth and the rest is history. She locked that shit down in 2010 and now they live in Australia with their kids. Elsa: teach us your ways. Something tells me her insights would be far more valuable than the “Sprinkle Sprinkle” lady’s. Does she still act? I don’t know and I don’t care!
Q: Jesus, okay. What happened to the castle?
A: It’s still Adrien’s private residence. He spent 7 or so years renovating the place, a process documented in the 2015 documentary Stone Barn Castle. It premiered at South by Southwest Film Festival and has been screened once publicly, to my knowledge. It’s not available for streaming or purchase anywhere — a source of much frustration for me and Adrien’s 5 other fans. But the above link does contain a teaser ^
Q: What’s he up to now?
A: He’s busy acting and dating Georgina Chapman, Marchesa co-founder and Harvey Weinstein’s ex-wife. He earned an Emmy nomination for guest starring in Succession season 3 and also co-starred in Adam McKay’s Lakers drama Winning Time (RIP). He played Arthur Miller in Blonde opposite Ana de Armas and rounded out the talented ensemble of Wes Anderson’s Asteroid City. In 2019, he left Paradigm Talent Agency and signed with CAA. It’s giving A-list. Adrienators, we are so fucking back! And now here’s Brody Quest, lest we ever forget our roots:
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