I know, I know — another Substack! But I miss blogging outside Twitter (besides being a life-ruining hell app, it’s technically a microblogging platform), I associate Medium with work and I need a way to procrastinate other, more important tasks. And thus, Substack. Maybe opening with a quasi-apology isn’t the way to win hearts, minds and subscribers, but I’m nothing if not a self-saboteur. Onward!
Succession Is Ending, And I Feel Fine
Just as I suspected — especially after reading Jeremy Strong’s GQ profile — Succession’s fourth season will also be its last. I’m relieved that Jesse Armstrong is being reliably British and declining to drag the show out until the quality dips considerably or it becomes a shell of its former self (cough The Office US cough). Succession is appointment viewing for me and a few million other coastal elites, and it’s good. This season, I’m hoping for Gerri’s ascension, a satisfying conclusion to the Tom-Greg romance and for the Emmys to finally acknowledge Alan Ruck’s performance. Life imitating art, etc.
I <3 KG
A heartfelt thanks to the gay shut-in (I’m assuming) who re-uploaded all of Kathy Griffin: My Life On The D-List to YouTube. My favorite seasons are 3 and 4, but 1 and 2 are great as well. Seasons 5 and 6 are fun, but watching Kathy kibbitz poolside with Paris Hilton will never be as funny to me as watching her host a chili cook-off or flop sweat through a corporate gig. There’s an incredible sequence where she auctions off “lesbian cookies” made by Melissa Etheridge and her wife for charity and the initial bidder (of $1,000) is Jane Lynch. Not to mention her performances in Iraq, Kuwait and multiple prisons. Icon.
Q&A
I asked Sarah Adelman some innocent questions.
Q: As a native New Yorker, which city "destination" do you consider most overrated?
A: Jacob's Pickles. Everyone is obsessed with this spot but I've never had a good meal there. NO OFFENSE.
Q: You work at a zoo and decide to go rogue. Which animal are you freeing first?
A: The central park zoo penguins. I love penguins because they mate for life which is peak romance. Also they can't fly so they need a head start.
Q: Who's your all-time celebrity crush?
A: milo ventimiglia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Mostly in This is Us, but also in gilmore girls when he was younger. I am a sucker for really thick brown curls.
Q: Sweet or savory?
A: Savory. I famously do NOT have a sweet tooth and only like 5 desserts (apple pie, fro-yo plain tart flavor, banana bread no nuts, coffee ice cream, and mango sorbet). Please give me a soft pretzel instead.
Drop a name (i.e., share a celebrity encounter)
In 3rd grade I entered a raffle to meet High School Musical Star Vanessa Anne Hudgens. I WON and when it was my turn for an autograph, I said. " Vanessa Anne Hudgens, you are my hero." She said "thank you." [PHOTO OF THIS EVENT ATTACHED.] This was on a saturday. That Monday her nudes leaked. I was shattered. I didn't know she was sexually active. I was horrified. I've never been the same.
Follow Sarah here and see her at Unladylike on March 9.
Recommendations
Stolen Youth on Hulu (and Slonim Woods 9)
It really frustrated me when the Sarah Lawrence cult story was first reported and a certain contingent of (bad faith, IMO) readers wanted to dismiss it as naive rich kids falling for some Svengali’s bullshit. Besides being ignorant, it sounded like a nonsensical class grievance. And with so many legitimate class grievances to air, that pissed me off. So I was thrilled to watch Stolen Youth, a sensitively, tastefully rendered true crime docuseries that centers the survivors and their stories. What emerges is a portrait of incredibly bright yet vulnerable college students terrorized by a con man so dangerous, experts deemed him “impossible” to psychologically evaluate. Just as essential is Daniel Barban Levin’s memoir Slonim Woods 9, which provides additional backstory and details from Dan’s POV.
Party Down reboot on Starz
Ugh, it’s so good! A masterclass in reviving IP and writing around a beloved main character’s absence (Lizzy Caplan’s Casey). Shoot the rest straight into my veins, please.
Brian Cox’s Putting the Rabbit in the Hat
Plenty has already been written about this hilarious book, but I want to highlight a few things. First of all, the man HATES method acting, and anything that looks or smells even a bit like it. There’s no way to conclude that his dislike of Jeremy Strong isn’t real. But there’s also no way to conclude that he feels any stronger about J. Strong’s ~~acting~~ techniques than he does about, say, Steven Seagal or soggy chips. And he spends much, much more time lauding creatives that he’s admired, including Sir Laurence Olivier, Fulton Mackay and director Lindsay Anderson, than slagging anyone off. Brian Cox is a hater, yes — but more importantly, he’s a working-class Scottish stiff who’s allergic to bullshit. A must-read for industry nerds and gossip mongers (both me).
The Penne Al Pomodoro from Piccola Cucina Uptown
Heavenly!
Shameless Self-Promotion
Unladylike Presents…Pamela Ross (me!), March 22nd at 8 PM at Stand Up NY. I’ll be joined by Sarah Adelman, Yvette Segan, Laura Merli, Alison Leiby and host Rachel Williams. Tickets are available online. Snag one before they sell out, which they will if my spells work!
You Should Also Be Reading…
Ryan Broderick’s excellent Garbage Day. Real heads know.
That’s all for now! À bientôt, mes amis.