Inspired by Julie Klausner’s Redhead Hall of Shame, I present the Bisexual Hall of Shame — featuring high-profile bi folks who reflect poorly on our already beleaguered population. The people cataloged below are responsible for offenses ranging from merely annoying to unethical and/or criminal. In no particular order, here are the inaugural inductees and their attendant qualifications:
Shane Dawson
Embarrassing output and cultural legacy, including an awful movie that Zachary Quinto disavowed; alleged sexual harassment and sexualization of minors; general douchebaggery; being mean to Drew Monson (which should be punishable by death).
Azealia Banks
Usage of racial, ethnic, and homophobic slurs; assaulting a flight attendant; being generally impossible to work with; tanking her own music career (unforgivable).
Amanda Palmer
Not paying musicians; asking people to fund her creative endeavors while being married to Neil Gaiman, a rich person; and a long list of -isms, which far more intrepid bloggers have documented. Perpetually battling Joss Whedon and Lin-Manuel Miranda for the #1 spot on Wesleyan’s Most Annoying Alumni power ranking (she’s lucky Lena Dunham went to Oberlin).
Bella Thorne
Ruined OnlyFans for sex workers or something. Idk she doesn't interest me much.
Krysten Sinema
Perhaps single-handedly responsible for the current spike in casual biphobia. Do you understand how hard it is to amass social capital as a cis, bisexual, white woman these days? If I’m ever turned away at The Cock, I’ll know exactly who to blame.
Tila Tequila
Ruined her own cultural legacy — already specious — by pivoting to neo-Nazi sympathizer (despite being Asian). Oh, Tila. We miss the old you, girl.
Sharon Osbourne
The whole Talk debacle solidified her reputation as a racist, out-of-touch harridan. Fox Nation can have her dumb ass!
Brendon Urie
The Panic! At The Disco guy. I’ll confess that at one point I was so attracted to Brendon, I considered buying tickets to see an arena tour of Jesus Christ Superstar in which he played Judas. His co-stars included Kelly Rowland and JC Chasez. The whole thing was canceled and there’s no record of it online, but I swear it was real! Anyway, he’s been accused of sexual misconduct and Panic! soundtracked Pete Buttigieg’s presidential campaign. Straight to jail on both counts.
If the Bisexual Hall of Shame were a physical place, it would be located in Woonsocket, Rhode Island or somewhere equally tragic. And yes, the Bisexual Hall of Fame is forthcoming. That’s a *much* longer list that I’ll take seriously — footnotes, etc.
Recommendations
If you’re a musical theater head then you already know, but: don’t press play unless you’re prepared to weep.
Let’s keep the Perfect Vocals Train rolling with this entry:
My newest emotional support IG/TikTok account features kinkajous, which are mammals that people sometimes keep as exotic pets. They’re like sugar gliders and monkeys combined, sort of, and they’re adorable. Watching “honey bears” munch freeze dried candy is the closest I’ve come to experiencing ASMR.
Q&A
I think this feature’s due to become monthly or retired! Oopsies. Here, watch Alexis Michelle execute the greatest drag reveal I’ve ever seen:
Shameless Self-Promotion
Follow me on Twitter @PamNotAnderson before the whole thing implodes, please.
You Should Also Be Reading…
Ashley might be the only comic I know who consumes more television than me — impressive! I’m indebted to her obsessive viewing habits, incisive analysis and documentary recommendations. Bonus: her guide to all things 90 Day Fiancé on Vulture.
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