So much of stand up comedy is annoying. Groveling for spots, waiting hours at mics and shows to go up, performing for disinterested and/or hostile audiences, chasing down bookers for money you’re owed (freelancing!) — it’s awful. You know this. I, unfortunately, know this all too well. I’ve been doing stand up for [redacted] years and have the festival passes, SiriusXM royalty checks and social media footprint to prove it. So instead I want to focus on why, exactly, comedy *culture* sucks and the mental, spiritual and physical toll it takes on those foolish enough to embed themselves in it. And yes, that includes me! I’m not a perfect person. I know — devastating.
Toxic Hustle Culture
It’s true that you cannot progress in stand up without adequate stage time. Some of the only real advice I can give to prospective comics is, “Get up basically everywhere.” The first two years, I was at open mics and/or shows almost every single night in and around Boston (and New England). Yes, my skills improved significantly. But the hustle culture this mentality spawns is a detriment to participants’ mental and physical health. A few years in, I was waiting outside an open mic with some comics when one noted, “Pam, when you started comedy, you’d bring salads and fruit in your purse.* Now, you’re eating a cheeseburger with one hand and smoking a cigarette with the other.” Reader, he was correct: my lifestyle had been subsumed by comedy and the unhealthy habits it foments. It’s not impossible to take care of yourself while pursuing stand up, but it’s extremely challenging. I’d wear myself down, getting sick from lack of sleep, sporadic eating and sharing a microphone with up to 40 other people in one night. If you buy into the “hustle and grind” of comedy, it will jeopardize your wellbeing — full stop.
(*I was orthorexic at the time, but that’s a subject for another post)
The Social Media Of It All
The internet aphorism “Pics or it didn’t happen” now extends to Boomerangs, tweets, Reels, YouTube videos, podcast episodes and beyond. Basically, if you don’t document what you’re doing comedy-wise, it’s like it never happened. As a result, minimally talented and charisma-less people can algorithm their way to careers in real time. That’s why you know who Matt Rife is. That’s why clips of half-baked material and crowd work interactions dominate your feed. And that’s why stand up’s become a race to accumulate followers instead of developing an act that’s, y’know, good.
Comics Are Deranged
Have you been dying to spend most of your time with the most mentally ill, egocentric people on the planet? Then have I got a treat for you! Interacting with comics on a regular basis can psychologically damage even the most secure and functional folks. I’ve never come across a population that’s more delusional, irresponsible or ill-behaved. Boundaries? We don’t have them. A healthy sense of shame? Pffft. Generosity? Do me a favor. NOW. How’d you get that? Who books that? How many subscribers do you have? As I’ve matured (and undergone copious amounts of therapy), the more grating the typical comedian becomes. Don’t get me started on the rampant gossip, pettiness, and cruelty. When I was told to “thicken [my] skin” as a novice, I assumed it applied to audiences. But it applies equally to your peers, who are more inclined to root for your downfall than cheer you on.
OK, It’s Mostly The Men
Even though I’m the one who brought it up, this topic exhausts me — and there’s nothing I can say about it that Marcia Belsky didn’t already articulate in her New York Times op-ed “The Lose-Lose Life of the Female Comedian.” So read that. I’m reclaiming my time, goddammit!
People Don’t Like It
The average person doesn’t like stand up comedy. The material we’re supposed to spend years painstakingly cultivating? People largely don’t care unless it’s a) lowest common denominator humor b) “relatable” (dating! sex! my family’s weird!) or c) caters to their niche interests (i.e., Star Wars bits at a con). More than anything, audiences like seeing famous people in person. Which brings me to my next point…
It’s Still Entertainment
One of my most hilarious, life-affirming friends signed with a prestigious agency that has a long roster of comedians. When they met in person, the first thing her manager said was, “You don’t have to be funny to make it in comedy, but it helps.” I once paid (embarrassing) to attend an industry panel with folks from UTA, WME, etc. Someone asked what the number-one quality a performer needed to become a successful touring act was, and an agent answered, “Fame.” Which sounds obvious — you need to put asses in seats for shows to happen — but the vibe in the room became…tense. Surely stand up’s more meritocratic than, say, acting, right? You have to prove your talent in real time instead of coasting on looks, clout or connections…right?! Not necessarily. Stand up’s as superficial as any other facet of entertainment, and having a following/notoriety trumps almost everything else. It doesn’t affect me much. I’ve always aspired to writing narrative television over touring as a headliner. But it’s wildly depressing that some nurse who started TikToking during the pandemic is booking clubs ahead of the many talented, hardworking people I know and admire.
Recommendations
Kate Butch from DRUK5
I’m apathetic towards most of the international Drag Race franchises — it’s too much content for one gal! — but Kate Butch is something special. She’s serving an unabashed camp sensibility over beauty and that’s the quickest way to my heart. She impersonated Kate Bush (duh) in the Snatch Game, turning the ethereal icon into a Cockney-voiced, impish weirdo. Long live Kate Butch!
This Kristen Wiig character from SNL that only showed up once, but stuck with me forever:
Kitty’s “Sympathy Pains”
My favorite Sapphic singer-songwriter’s back with a new composition entitled “Sympathy Pains.” Pour yourself a cuppa and enjoy.
Shameless Self-Promotion
November marks my final month co-producing Just Come! at The Graham on Tuesdays. I’m flying the coop to make time for my other creative projects (including this Substack) and, frankly, because I’m tired of producing. Baby needs a break from fielding book requests and the relentless promotion cycle. If you’d like to see me there, make sure it happens on or before November 28th.
You Should Also Be Reading…
Ciao for now!
Even though I’m someone who could never do stand up, I really enjoyed reading this. Insightful and entertaining!
I genuinely do know who that guy is because of that one TikTok that was fed to me while I scrolled for two hours instead of sleeping.