Reading Is Fundamental
Are we slaying the house down boots every damn day, hunties?
I don’t do drag; that would require talent and charisma. Instead, I peddle my garbage art at open mics, bar shows and middling comedy clubs, which deep down I believe I deserve because Catholicism is hard to shake. But while not the most pressing issue drag artists are facing right now, I do have a strong opinion on the language of ballroom pervading everyday speech. Here’s my rule: you can say “slay” if you’ve personally tipped a Black drag queen — yes, including at drag brunch. Does that seem fair? I might also accept “can quote Paris Is Burning.” I mean, you can say whatever you want, but you can’t expect me to not roll my eyes in response. And that’s the tea.
Marcella Arguello Is Funny. That’s It. That’s The Headline
According to Sean McCarthy’s count, 104 stand up specials have been released so far this year. Not to be a bitch, but I don’t think even 25 should be released any year. There’s too much stand up, and I’m a part of the problem.
But Marcella Arguello’s Bitch, Grow Up! reminded me why some acts simply demand commitment to tape. She’s been in the game for seventeen years and it shows. Of course, a special is meant to showcase the material — but the most important measure of success is whether or not it captures the energy of live stand up. This one definitely does. And as she’ll tell you, she did it in one taping.
Marcella headlined Limestone the year I featured (2018) and I was too intimidated to say hi. Now, I’d probably just offer her weed. And “that’s huge for me”, as I say to my therapist after completing a basic task.
Q&A
I asked Megan Koester some questions and she kindly answered them.
Q: You can resurrect one band/musician from the dead (actual or retirement) to perform in your back yard. Who's your pick?
A: Talking Heads, because they'd do it contemptuously.
Q: What fashion trend will you never understand?
A: Culottes. Every five years or so they announce the "return" of culottes, generally (thank the fuck Christ) to no avail; I am saddened to report their latest attempt was successful. They are universally unflattering, but especially so on short people (of which I am one). Culottes are a hate crime against the short.
Q: What's a near-instant friendship/relationship dealbreaker?
A: Sincere usage of emojis in text exchanges. Once we actually know each other, ironic usage of emojis can be introduced sparingly, but "🤣" is never acceptable.
Q: Is squirt pee?
A: The only commonality it shares with urine is viscosity. Shit ain't colored, shit don't smell, shit ain't piss.
Drop a name (i.e., share a celebrity encounter)
These aren't direct celebrity encounters per se, but I have dumped my menstrual cup in the bathroom sinks of:
1. Apatow Productions' office
2. The Chateau Marmont bungalow John Belushi died in
Buy Megan’s album and read her recent interview in The Small Bow.
Shameless Self-Promotion
Work sucks, I know — but I miss the sweet caress of a salaried job and health insurance. If you want to hire me as a writer, editor, copyeditor, proofreader, communications specialist or something like that, you can. E-mail me at rossiferous@gmail.com for my resume/references or check out my LinkedIn (help).
Recommendations
Watch this. Just…watch it.
Anetra is MY Season 15 Winner no matter how the competition shakes out. Sorry, Sasha and whoever rounds out the finalists (Mistress? Loosey? Luxx?).
This tweet:
Everything at Casa Ora, especially the arepitas
My sweet friend and Just Come! co-host Kendall Farrell clued me into Casa Ora, an outstanding Venezuelan restaurant in his old neighborhood of East Williamsburg. I am, admittedly, a bit of a food snob. I have strong yet uninformed opinions on everything from instant coffee to duck liver. So trust me when I say that Casa Ora is a must-try, and not just if you live off the L. Take multiple trains if you have to — it’s that good.
Pot Psychology
I’ve been on such a ~~journey~~ with Pot Psychology, which began as a web series, then became a book and is now an excellent podcast. Rich and Tracie emerged from the crucible of Gawker Media — Tracie was a founding Jezebel staffer and Rich wrote for Gawker proper — and bring a world-weary, hard-edged cynicism to much of what they discuss. They’re not perfect, but they’re the only people (to my knowledge) who have watched Farrah Abraham take a dump for journalistic purposes. I love Rich’s little ditties, which instantly make Tracie and I burst into laughter. Thank you, parasocial media friends. I feel like I know you, but I don't and it’s a little weird. PP is also the only Patreon I subscribe to (in my necessarily frugal era).
This a cappella hymn I first heard in Saved! which is a fucking bop if you ignore that it’s about God. Just focus on the vocals!!!
You Should Also Be Reading…
Crumpstack, belonging to Dimes Square’s foremost authority and commentator Mike Crumplar.
See you next week, folks!